In the beginning....
It all started in a little 5,000-watt radio station in Fresno, California,...no, wait, that can't be right...Oh,
yeah, that's how Ted Baxter of The Mary Tyler Moore Show got his start. The inception of the Duck Soup Softball
Fiasco is more interesting than Ted, and we've got more spunk than Mary.
Duck Soup's origin traces all the way back to Labor Day weekend of 1980. The location was Rick Garrett,
Oklahoma, a softball complex that was somehow incorporated as a city. The legendary Midwest Bicycle team from Excelsior had
qualified for the USSSA Men's "B" Regional that year, so two vans full of sweaty ballplayers loaded up and headed down Oklahoma
City way.
The tourney was a simple 96-team, double elimination affair played at a 4-field complex. If you do the math
on that one, you quickly see that to get all the games in, teams had to play ball pretty much around the clock. A first game
loss put the Midwest Bicycle boys in the loser's bracket meaning their next game was at 4 A.M.
While sitting in the bar late that night, Stu "Alexx" Alexander and Steve "Alps" Alpert ("The Big Duck"
and "The Human Stomach" respectively) noticed thunder and lightning. Since this was a rain or shine tourney, the worst possible
scenario for a softball game was about to befall our boys. And these two were no dunces, contrary to popular opinion. They
could see the dreadful state that their team would soon be in. The beer began to pour more readily.
By 3 A.M., Alexx began to complain loudly about why anyone would play softball in these dire circumstances.
Alps concurred, stating that if he was running the tourney, things would be different. Alexx thought for a moment. "There should be do-overs allowed," he arbitrarily stated. Alps chipped in as how he'd like
to see the last batter to make an out be forced to catch the following inning. The ideas started to come fast and furious,
at least fast by these two dim bulbs' standards. Alexx pulled out a napkin and began writing the ideas down. When they were
finished, there were 29 items on the list.
The tourney inevitably ended, the list was tossed in a suitcase, and for 3 years, nothing was said about
the new tourney ideas. Then, an opening appeared.
Back in St. Louis Park, Alexx and Alps, friends since kindergarten, had continued to play ball on the team
they formed in 1976. This squad was started as a "for-fun" team, as they wished to play ball with some of their less talented
friends. Alexx's all-time favorite comedian was Harpo Marx while Alps favored Groucho, so it was only natural that they name
their team Duck Soup, the all-time Marx Brothers favorite movie.
In St. Louis Park, the number of weekend tournaments was limited by the city. They did keep one weekend
available, however, for a charitable organization to run a fund raiser. Recreation Supervisor Randy Johnson was talking with
Alexx in the spring of 1983. To Alexx's surprise, Randy mentioned that there was an opening that year in St. Louis Park for
a group to run a tournament, but that it had to be for a charitable cause. Alexx thought for a moment.
"I've got a tournament," he exclaimed, "and we don't care about making any money. Hell, we'll give it away.
It'll just be fun running this, this . . . SOFTBALL FIASCO!"
The first year, 1983, 20 men's and 20 women's teams signed up for this heretofore unheard of event with
the new and unusual rules. And it WAS called "The Fiasco." Alexx and Alps weren't sure what the response to the wacky rules
would be once teams actually got on the field and had to bat opposite-handed, run the bases in reverse order, and wear a green
and pink garter to show they were the double-run player. They needn't have worried. When the first
game at Aquila 3 was finished, Alexx walked tentatively toward the teams. Suddenly, one young lady rushed up to him and exclaimed,
"WE HAD SOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!"
Then and there, Alexx and Alps knew they had a winner.
The last 19 years have fairly flown by. In that time, 1,387 teams have competed in 2,615 games, using 5,230
do-overs, and contributing almost $57,000 to the Olympics, the Special Olympics, the Williams Scholarship Fund, and, for the
last 15 years, to the Duck Soup Scholarship Fund. The Kubs ate 301 hot dogs one year, and Ed's Body Shop showed up in 1992
dressed as all the characters from the Wizard of Oz, thus precipitating the "Steve Alpert Memorial Team Costume Contest."
Umpire Emeritus Mike Hamilton has worked games from a step-ladder, from horseback, and dressed as Santa Claus. Friendships
between teams, volunteers and board members have blossomed over the years. A new term, "Duck Soup Softball Fiasco," had been
added to the softball lexicon. Other cities have adopted the concept and started their own Duck Soup Softball tourneys with
similar rules. (Liberal, Kansas; Arlington, Texas; & Springdale, Arkansas, among others.)
And all because Alexx and Alps didn't like playing ball in the rain at 4 A.M.
