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Thank you for supporting the Duck Soup Softball Fiasco, Toys for Tots and our scholarship winners. I know this is long, but
hang with me ‘til the bitter end. Just like we hang with you during those 26.5 to 1 games.
We have openings for the Duck Soup Board. To be eligible you will want to actually work in addition to providing your
valuable suggestions. These are unpaid positions and require 16-40 hours of positive attitude. Contact 2008 Tournament Director,
Mr. Steve Berg at sberg@datarecognitioncorp.com.
We have openings for volunteers next year as well. Day laborers are needed for the concession stand, merchandise mart
and the Spam & Ham grill. For these positions we don’t give a d _ _ what you think, we just want you to work.
Contact Ms. Molly Schuster at moschu_blue@yahoo.com She is much nicer than me and will treat you with respect.
I want to commend the teams for the generally neat maintenance of the Aquila Fields; much better than last year. Either
you were much neater or you brought your mother this year.
Now to the most important facts of 2007: Costume Winners. A big thanks from this year’s entrants goes out to
Duffy’s for NOT entering, thus giving everyone else a chance at #1.
1. The Other Team—Religious Figures
2. Saggin & Draggin---Spam’s Diner
3. Cereal Killers---Cereal Characters
4. Thirsty Thursday’s---Luck O’ the Duck Leprechaun
5. Westside—Wild, Wild West
6. Lee’s Ladeez---Roller Girls
7. Shooters—The π Stand
8. Rounders---Back to the 80’s
9. MT’s on 8th---Happy Halloween
10. Chasing a Dream---Mice & Cheese
11. Absolute Bails Bond---Celebrity Criminals
12. Biker Babes—Biker Babes
13. Major’s Southside Slammers---What da Duck
14. Springfield Zephyrs----Rednecks
More than one team deserved 1st place. I personally rated The π Stand much higher than 6th place; simple but
creative.
What pushed The Other Team over the top for me was The 10 Spamandments.
1. Thou shalt have no other meat than SPAM.
2. Thou shalt not make false SPAM.
3. Thou shalt not use SPAM in vain.
4. Thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath by eating SPAM.
5. Thou shalt honor they parents SPAM.
6. Thou shalt not kill for SPAM.
7. Thou shalt not SPAMDULTER.
8. Thou shalt not steal SPAM.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against SPAM.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors SPAM.
Duck Soup Hall of Fame Inducktees:
Co-founders Steve (The Human Stomach) Alpert (Alpsssss) and Stu (The Big Duck) Alexander, ( aka, playwright Alexx Stuart).
The Souper Stars Men’s Softball Team---they played in their 25th Fiasco. Congratulations to all. You are all
very committed or should be committed.
Cutest Babies---Riley and Eli. Note they were both wearing costumes, Moms.
Bee stings. The 1st sting of the tourney came earlier, but the hubby is an EMT and all is well. Numerous other stings
reported including my wife’s tongue. You gotta look at that hamburger you’re eating before taking a big
bite!
How about them port-a –potties. Weren’t they great!! Calm down, next year they will flush and they
will be handicap accessible.
Individual awards: Mike from Westside(?), The Brad Pitt Hunk of the Tourney. Mandy, the Michelle Pfeifer Fox of the Tourney.
Saggin & Draggin for the Best Use of Spam (the most highly coveted trophy).
Mike Hamilton won the 2003 (yes, 2003) Three Blind Mice Trophy for Umpires. No real explanation about the delay from the
engraver other than he mumbled something about lingering constipation.
Molly from the Midgets, 4th consecutive year for the 12:01pm customer on Sunday.
The Menacing Midgets, who else, for the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not even close.Thank you.
Hey, nice weather for the 25th consecutive year. Thunder and rain awoke me exactly six hours after the end the last game.
I then went to bed; had fallen asleep on top of the gorilla suit on the garage floor.
Team Names—Everyone take note. Your team name is the name you place on the registration form labeled Team Name.
Your Team Name is NOT your costume theme or anything else you invent during the third inning of your fourth game. When the
umpire requests your team name, don’t guess, don’t be confused and flustered at what he is asking you,
just give him your team name. One more point about the team name. Tell all your players the same team name. This will help
us locate responsible people in case you turn up in the lost & found. That’s it. It is a safety issue.
Now to the least valuable information as noted by many. The softball results are:
Women’s C –Biker Babes over Saggin N Draggin
Women’s B—Lee’s Ladeez beat Win or Lose
Women’s A—Beer & Nuts defeated Crackers
The above bracketing had nothing to do with “cup” sizes. We know because we took a long, long look.
Men’s C---The Menacing Midgets spanked Souped Up
Men’s B—Wild Bill’s Boys edged Soup’d Up UMPS by .5 runs
Men’s A—QA Sports rallied to beat the Souper Stars
Co-Rec C—The Other Team nudged Lifetime Fitness
Co-Rec B—Shooters took this shooting match against Lushie Legends.
Co-Rec A—Southside snuck past The Gang
Congrats to all the winning and losing teams. We hope you enjoyed the experience. Feel free to place it on your resume.
Well that is it for this year. I again want to thank you for your support of Duck Soup, Toys for Tots and our scholarship
winners.
This was my 5th and last year as Tournament Director. Stepping down with me from the Duck Soup Board is my wife of 31
years, Ann. Without her guidance and support the Fiasco’s would have been just that. Thanks also to my two beautiful
and wonderful daughters (Jennifer & Allison) who have helped Ann with the grilling, shopping, transportation, hauling,
picture taking and printing. They have also offered their advice frequently, like, “Take a breath!” I
love ‘em all.
Thanks also to all of the DS Board members, Stu, Diedre, Alps (oh, that’s right he resigned also but can’t
stay away), Molly, Josh, Steve, Mandy and Dan. Thanks for doing your parts so well. Thanks to the family and friends who kindly
donated their time to insult you at the concession stand and merchandise mart.
Mr. Steve Berg is the 2008 Tournament Director and you will send your money and registration forms to him as noted with
the Registration Form you received in your packet this past Saturday.
Send the website and registration form to any and all friends.
Sincerely,
poom pis (turn upside down to read)
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